For this Monday’s class we read “It Takes a
(Virtual) Village: Mothering on the
Internet” by May Friedman, a graduate student writing her dissertation on “mommyblogs,”
and we had a guest in class! Molly Westerman, who describes herself as “a recovering academic,” is the author of the blog First the Egg which is “a
nonsexist space focused on pregnancy, birth, and helping children grow up whole
and happy.” Both Friedman and Westerman discussed
some of the complexities of being a mother who blogs – from the positives to
the negatives and the downright odd. (We
also read Our Love/Hate Relationship with the Term “Mommy Blogger” from The Broad
Side for perspective on the language we use.)
One of the things that struck me most about
the article and the speaker (especially the speaker) was the way that these
online blog communities (1) make safe spaces for certain types of people to be
open about their experiences and (2) become support systems for the writers not
only virtually, but concretely as well.
In her talk yesterday, Westerman presented stories that prompted each of these thoughts.
The first of said stories was about a fellow blogger, author of Navigating the Mothership. At first glance (and second, and third) her blog seems to be your stereotypical, prototypical "mommyblog" - a white, upper-class, heterosexual, married woman writing about her two beautiful children who somehow are always followed around by a professional photographer. Although she is all of those things, she is also a woman who has suffered postpartum depression (PPD) after giving birth to both of her children. According to Westerman, Navigating the Mothership has given women who experience PPD a safe space and supportive community to express and explore their feelings and experiences. The unique venue of being a blog allows some level of anonymity in order to create that freedom.
This unique blog situation can then grow from being a safe virtual space to concrete actions. Westerman told us about how much her online community meant to her and how supportive they had been in her various endeavors to have children/find a job/etc. She gave the example of mentioning that it had been a tough week, and a couple days later she received an encouraging care package from an online acquaintance with chocolate and coffee. Similarly, Friedman talks about bloggers whose readership held baby showers for them or who raised money via PayPal to help when a spouse had died of cancer.
Thinking about the unique position of these types of blogs ("mommyblogs" or otherwise), I wonder how and why they are able to generate support that in-person groups rarely can. There are certainly factors of anonymity and common interests or experiences that make these virtual communities possible. So what are the implications of that? How can those spaces and support systems be formed so that they are more inclusive to the broader community? Is it possible to create the same sense of a safe space and the same kind of investment in a community that is non-virtual? Or are these features exclusively virtual?
These questions are timely and exciting. The virtual "safe spaces" of the internet (although not wholly removed from criticism, as Molly pointed out) remind me of the dining rooms, basements, and kitchens where 2nd wave consciousness raising occurred. These spaces were private. When feminism went "public," as in women's studies courses and formal organizations, participants replicated safe spaces in women's resources centers and areas away from formal meeting areas. Have we lost those safe spaces since incorporating feminism into organized institutions? Are blogs safe spaces because women still control their individual blogs? Note that a controlled blog with limited readership, as Molly pointed out, assures a different level of comfort than an organizational blog, such as feministing.com, which is much more on the search map. I wonder, are blogging women somehow trying to reinvent or invent a movement?
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